This post is short.
Most people think that when women feel bad about themselves they ware make-up and do their hair to compensate.
This post is to inform you that this concept is false!
For me during my depression and (still yet as I'm still recovering)
When I'm happier I do my hair.
When I'm happier I do my make-up.
Depression sucks all the feelings of hope out of you. "Why do your hair and make-up? I mean really it's not going to help or change anything." Is 100% what I thought during depression.
So men, boys, and guys out there! Know this! If you see a girl not wearing make-up or doing their hair I'd be concerned not more than not.
Exclaimer! Some women just don't like make-up so this post doesn't apply to everyone.
The main thing to look for is a change in hair and make-up habits. (not styles)
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
It's Okay to Be Me
Its okay to be where we're at.
This statement is said over and over by my therapist.
Its okay to be where your at.
This one statement over in over in my head. I repeat it to myself time and time again just to relax.
Its okay to be where I'm at.
My weight story post was full of vigor and determination. The fact of the matter is my weight is a shield, a comfort blanket. I think I've said this before. But its so true. It is so hard to take off that comfort blanket.
For some their comfort blankets are exercise or food control or whatever. And for some (these days the stats say most in the US) fat is a comfort blanket. It is protective, and destructive at the same time.
So how do we convince ourselves that its okay to take it off?
How do we convince ourselves that we're not perfect in some things (most things) and that's okay?
Repeat it over and over and over.
Never forget.
Its okay to be where I'm at.
We're in this together, we are. All of us. When we judge others and ourselves to harshly we do not find happiness nor progression. We are literally damned. We stop ourselves from moving forward. When we can't look at ourselves in the eye and say "I'm not perfect. That's okay." "I haven't started working out yet. That's okay" Or when we can't listen to criticism without still loving ourselves then we are still not okay with who we are.
And believe it! How hard is this? right? At least for me it is. When we beat ourselves up for not doing things right, or we cannot accept things we need to address and change, we only make it worse.
For me, when I get a bad look or vibe from someone at first I'm wounded. I feel pain in my body. I feel pain and sadness, sadness not only for me but for them also. Such pain (unawares of it usually)someone should be in to look at others that way. But remember; it's okay for them to be where their at too.
-I'd like to add also that when someone is hurting, nothing to do with me, I feel it. And my heart breaks. This is why I want/am going to be a therapist.-
We are all in different places, at different stages, in our internal psychological health.
I'm sorry I don't usually like to be religious on this blog but "Love one another, as I have loved you." I mean! is there any better way to love one another than to see ourselves and each other as okay where we're at?
I recently saw a karma post on Facebook. It said "send out good energy." When we do this we make the world a better place. How can we do this if we're not able to accept ourselves first?
I cannot love others to the fullest when I am not accepting myself. Myself, as in the whole package. I don't clean the house as much as my husband. I should spend more time with my daughter. I should take my dog for better walks. I'm not skinny, fit, or even healthy. I should manage my time better, spend less money, the list goes on an on. We all have them. And they hurt so we push them away. Sometimes avoid or use other unhealthy tactics. The way to healthily defeat them is to face them, and face the head on.
Try it. Try looking in the mirror and saying "Its okay that I don't walk my dog enough. yet. I'm not in a place yet where I can do it. That's okay. I see this, I can accept it. When I'm ready I'll change it."
Ah! Then the pressure is off! We can relax and love ourselves. Which usually leads to being more an more able to change your it.
If your lucky and your one of those people that doesn't have much to feel guilty or frustrated about, or you've known all this for years my hat goes off to you! :D good job!
On the other hand for those of you who don't understand depression maybe this post will help. People (at least with me) with depression do not think that anything is okay. All those things I listed become massive boulders on our shoulders. Weighing our heats and minds down 24'7. We cannot escape. We do not believe its OKAY to be crappy at stuff right now. The world and most the people around us don't tell us its okay, or if they do we don't hear. We don't believe. How could it be true for it to be alright to be so big? So messy and lazy? How? The comforting words people say to us roll off "like water off a ducks back." They roll off and barely leave a trace.
Something has to snap back into place for someone with depression to believe its okay to be where we're at. When that does happens, healing starts.
I pray that one day we can all know and love ourselves for who we are and where we're at.
God Bless!
This statement is said over and over by my therapist.
Its okay to be where your at.
This one statement over in over in my head. I repeat it to myself time and time again just to relax.
Its okay to be where I'm at.
My weight story post was full of vigor and determination. The fact of the matter is my weight is a shield, a comfort blanket. I think I've said this before. But its so true. It is so hard to take off that comfort blanket.
For some their comfort blankets are exercise or food control or whatever. And for some (these days the stats say most in the US) fat is a comfort blanket. It is protective, and destructive at the same time.
So how do we convince ourselves that its okay to take it off?
How do we convince ourselves that we're not perfect in some things (most things) and that's okay?
Repeat it over and over and over.
Never forget.
Its okay to be where I'm at.
We're in this together, we are. All of us. When we judge others and ourselves to harshly we do not find happiness nor progression. We are literally damned. We stop ourselves from moving forward. When we can't look at ourselves in the eye and say "I'm not perfect. That's okay." "I haven't started working out yet. That's okay" Or when we can't listen to criticism without still loving ourselves then we are still not okay with who we are.
And believe it! How hard is this? right? At least for me it is. When we beat ourselves up for not doing things right, or we cannot accept things we need to address and change, we only make it worse.
For me, when I get a bad look or vibe from someone at first I'm wounded. I feel pain in my body. I feel pain and sadness, sadness not only for me but for them also. Such pain (unawares of it usually)someone should be in to look at others that way. But remember; it's okay for them to be where their at too.
-I'd like to add also that when someone is hurting, nothing to do with me, I feel it. And my heart breaks. This is why I want/am going to be a therapist.-
We are all in different places, at different stages, in our internal psychological health.
I'm sorry I don't usually like to be religious on this blog but "Love one another, as I have loved you." I mean! is there any better way to love one another than to see ourselves and each other as okay where we're at?
I recently saw a karma post on Facebook. It said "send out good energy." When we do this we make the world a better place. How can we do this if we're not able to accept ourselves first?
I cannot love others to the fullest when I am not accepting myself. Myself, as in the whole package. I don't clean the house as much as my husband. I should spend more time with my daughter. I should take my dog for better walks. I'm not skinny, fit, or even healthy. I should manage my time better, spend less money, the list goes on an on. We all have them. And they hurt so we push them away. Sometimes avoid or use other unhealthy tactics. The way to healthily defeat them is to face them, and face the head on.
Try it. Try looking in the mirror and saying "Its okay that I don't walk my dog enough. yet. I'm not in a place yet where I can do it. That's okay. I see this, I can accept it. When I'm ready I'll change it."
Ah! Then the pressure is off! We can relax and love ourselves. Which usually leads to being more an more able to change your it.
If your lucky and your one of those people that doesn't have much to feel guilty or frustrated about, or you've known all this for years my hat goes off to you! :D good job!
On the other hand for those of you who don't understand depression maybe this post will help. People (at least with me) with depression do not think that anything is okay. All those things I listed become massive boulders on our shoulders. Weighing our heats and minds down 24'7. We cannot escape. We do not believe its OKAY to be crappy at stuff right now. The world and most the people around us don't tell us its okay, or if they do we don't hear. We don't believe. How could it be true for it to be alright to be so big? So messy and lazy? How? The comforting words people say to us roll off "like water off a ducks back." They roll off and barely leave a trace.
Something has to snap back into place for someone with depression to believe its okay to be where we're at. When that does happens, healing starts.
I pray that one day we can all know and love ourselves for who we are and where we're at.
God Bless!
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