Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Physiology of Anxiety

Michael D. Williams
Department of Home & Family Brigham Young University—Idaho
Chapter One
The Physiology of Anxiety
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Anxiety is probably the most basic of all emotions. Not only is it experienced by all humans, but anxiety responses have been found in all species of animals, right down to the sea slug. Anxiety experiences vary tremendously in their severity from mild uneasiness to extreme terror and panic. They can also vary tremendously in their length from a brief, almost fleeting flash, to a constant, all-day affair. While anxiety, by its nature and definition, is an unpleasant sensation, it is not in the least dangerous. It is this last point which forms the basis of this article. The aim of the next few pages is to teach about the components (physical and mental) of anxiety to help students realize (1) that many of the feelings they are now experiencing are the result of anxiety and (2) that these feelings are not harmful or dangerous.
Definition of Anxiety
While an actual definition of anxiety which covers all aspects is very difficult to provide (indeed whole books have been written on the subject), everyone knows the feeling which we call anxiety. There is not one person who has not experienced some degree of anxiety, whether it is the feeling upon entering a schoolroom just before an exam, or the feeling of waking in the middle of the night, certain that a strange sound was heard outside.
Not everyone, however, is familiar with more extreme sensations and cognitive overload: extreme dizziness, spotty and blurred vision, numbness and tingling, rigid muscles, feelings of breathlessness extending to choking or smothering, or the perception that one is having a heart attack or “going crazy.” Some even experience a profound sense of depersonalization, as if they were somehow outside of their bodies and observing themselves.
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When people have some combination of these symptoms—something which happens far more often than most of us suspect—they may believe there is something seriously wrong with them. The fear that something horrible is happening or will happen creates a feedback loop of anxiety that we call panic attacks.
Fight, Flight and Freeze Responses
Anxiety is a response to danger or perceived threat. Immediate or short-term anxiety is often referred to as the fight-or-flight response, so named because all of its affects are aimed toward either fighting or fleeing danger. Thus, the number-one purpose for anxiety is to protect the organism.
Consider a scenario in which one is blissfully walking through the mountains, enjoying the sights and sounds of nature, perhaps strolling hand-in-hand with someone he or she adores—and the feeling is reciprocal. Imagine they are engaged, and making plans for their upcoming wedding while walking through the hills outside of town while and enjoying the gentle breeze that is making the leaves flutter. As the two of them begin discussing the details of their reception—the comparative virtues of lime green over sea foam green for the table-cloths—they sense rustling in the bushes just ahead on the trail. Puzzled, they come closer and are intercepted by a snarling bear.
Quickly, note what would happen to
  • their heart rates,
  • their breathing,
  • the sounds of the leaves in the breeze,
  • their interlocked hands,
  • and their preference of colors.
    All of those changes happened in an instant, and there is a very good chance that they lost track of one another’s hands and did not care about which green would festoon the tables. What happened?
    Ready for Action
    Nature has beautifully designed human beings with the capacity to automatically respond (react) to apparent dangers by sending hormones (chemical messengers) to alter the functioning of several parts of the body. The sympathetic nervous system is set in motion as the limbic system becomes flushed with blood and electrical activity, changing the heart rate, breathing pattern, and blood pressure almost instantaneously. It happens so quickly, in fact, that we do not even notice the important gap between the event (for example, a bear sticking its head out of the bushes) and the physiological changes.
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Fight. It would be very useful to have plenty of oxygen-rich blood surging through one’s veins while preparing to fight off something big and scary. Increased blood pressure also assures greater reflex speed and intensitya doctor using a hammer on one’s knee to test reflexes is a “quick and dirty” test for high blood pressure. Tense muscles could also prepare one to wrestle a threat to the ground or give it a good thrashing.
Flight. Once again, tense muscles and well-oxygenated blood surging through the blood stream would be very useful when preparing to flee. It would be preferable to get the system ready rather than waiting until the body begins to tire.
High blood pressure also tightens the tympanic membrane of the inner ear, increasing the ability to hear small sounds that might otherwise have gone unnoticed. At the same time, the pupils dilate, making it easier to pick up visual cues of danger. This increased visual and auditory acuity does not equal accuracy. In fact, the body seems to trade off accuracy in favor of sensitivity to danger cues—when trying to escape danger, one is not so concerned about how nice the bad guy’s spurs tinkle or how well his shirt matches his eyes.
Freeze. We are all familiar with fight-or-flight responses, but it may be less well-known that up to 60% of Americans are more prone to freeze at signs of danger. In these individuals, heart rate increases; breathing tends to be shallow and rapid, but blood pressure drops rather than rises. While this physical state is not very useful for running or wrestling, it is very helpful in preparing one to be overwhelmed by physical danger.
When bodies go into shock, they reduce the likelihood of death by retaining blood in the core of the body and reducing blood flow at the extremities. Many animals respond by freezing to avoid being noticed by predators—the same phenomenon has been observed in classes and in social events on campus. Humans are often confused when they have the freeze response; they feel week in the knees or feel like vomiting or wetting themselves rather than sprinting or practicing Tae Bo moves when they feel scared. “Freezers” are only experiencing a normal anxiety response.
Which of the three responses—fight, flight or freeze—would be wisest or most effective when encountering a grumpy grizzly?
Not Ready for Contemplation or Observation
Notice one other important change that occurred when the engaged couple encountered the bear: they likely lost track of the other things that they were or could have been thinking about. Why would God
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create us to do that? Of course it would be of no value to keep comparing table cloth colors or enjoying the sounds of the leaves in the breeze when life is at stake. When the limbic system takes over brain function, it quickly makes it difficult to see or perceive anything that is not in keeping with the emotional state. The bear’s teeth look bigger, its breath smells worse, and its size seems even greater than it likely would be. This is very useful for helping us to focus on the dangers so that we can avoid them, but it does not help much in terms of making wise or astute observations. (That is why crime victims often cannot accurately describe the criminal, but the weapon seemed out of proportion). In fact, some men would embarrass themselves horribly by running away and leaving the fiancĂ© to be eaten, or by even pushing her forward and hiding. It would not be a function of not loving her, but a natural response when the limbic portion of the brain takes over. Reason takes a back seat when the limbic system does the driving—natural or not, that kind of behavior is likely to put more of a crimp in the wedding plans than differences in color preferences.
The Gap = Perception
All of the above processes occur so quickly that it is not even evident that something happened between the cue (sight of the bear) and the limbic mutiny that occurred. What we most often take for granted is the observation or assumption that the cue signals real danger. With the grizzly example, physical danger is obvious. But what if the “danger” is actually no danger at all? Imagine that the couple had survived this event with their dignity and relationship intact. Months later, the two of them are walking through a similar setting and perceive rustling in the bushes. They would likely respond just as before, with changes in breathing, blood pressure, tension, etc. But if a cow came out of the bushes, chewing its cud, it would take a moment for them to recognize that they were in no danger at all. Their breathing, heart rate, etc. would return to normal, but it would take a while for their brains to accept that there was no real danger.
The brain does not respond to danger, but to the perception of danger. It relies upon us to accurately access and send the “danger" message by thinking that we are in danger.
It may not be difficult to think of a time in which one’s individual fight/flight/freeze response was activated when there was no actual physical danger present. We perceive far fewer actual physical dangers day-to-day than we do social or psychological dangers. In fact, surveys have consistently demonstrated that more Americans fear public speaking than they do death.
Is it because something worse than death is likely to occur if one’s voice cracks or one’s warm-up joke is not funny? No, but when we imagine that it will be horrible, our brain responds with horror; if we tell
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ourselves something is terrible, we respond in terror. The truth is that the brain believes everything that it thinks, whether it is true or not. Some famous quotes, such as the ones below, illustrate this reality:
“I’ve suffered a great many catastrophes in my life. Most of them never happened.”
–Mark Twain
“If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles but I’d have fewer imaginary
ones.”
– Don Herold

“Some of your hurt you have cured, And the sharpest you still have survived, But what torments of grief you endured From the evil which never arrived.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Once again, the brain believes everything that it thinks, even if it is not true.
Panic Attacks and Persistent Anxiety
While all of the above probably makes perfect sense given one’s own experiences and perceptions, it may be very confusing when we ourselves or others experience either panic attacks or anxiety that continues well beyond the presence of the perceived danger.

Keep in mind that our bodies—beginning with our brains—do not really respond to dangers but to the perceptions of danger. We might say that a stressor event does not stress us out but the stress we place on the events creates or maintains stressor responses. Of course we do not consider ourselves crazy, incompetent or broken if we have anxiety responses to genuine threats.
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But what if no apparent danger is present when we have these anxious responses? If our hearts are pounding, it is hard to breathe, or we feel week and dizzy when no apparent threat is present, what could possibly be wrong?
Now we have a different challenge entirely. Now, instead of the anxious responses (e.g. pounding heart and running) leading to a relief from the danger cue (scary bear), and resulting anxious responses (feeling scared), we can experience ourselves as trapped in a feedback loop. The anxious response is normal but is experienced (perceived) as evidence that something is out of whack or somehow dangerous in itself. The brain then responds with more anxiety.

False alarm
Anyone who has held a microphone close to a speaker has experienced the shrill sound that results as the vibration is fed back and amplified each time in a never-ending feedback loop that began with only a whisper or an inaudible vibration. It grows so rapidly that it may not be obvious what is happening. But the sound is very real nonetheless. This is quite similar to the feedback process experienced with panic attacks. It does not matter what the cue is; if it is perceived as dangerous, the brain goes into auto pilot, deciding to panic. Where the response was once very helpful, or at least understandable, it is now very unhelpful and confusing. Once we have had this experience a few times, we become actually anxious about being anxious, which, in turn, makes us anxious.
Chronic or persistent anxiety often results from developing a habit of anticipating something dangerous or undesirable. It is common to know people who simply expect bad things to happen. These pessimists might even state that they expect the worst outcomes so they can be pleasantly surprised when something good happens. The problem is that it does not work that way.
When we anticipate negative outcomes, our ability to pick out the evidence for negative outcomes increases considerably. Remember that the limbic system makes it difficult for the rest of the brain to even perceive those things that are inconsistent with the emotional state. Negative thinkers can therefore more easily find and focus on negatives. Those who fearfully anticipate something scary happening sharpen their “scary experience” perceptions and find lots of things to be scared or anxious

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about. This reinforces the habit of anxiously anticipating until we are anxious about being anxious about being anxious.
Why Are Some People More Vulnerable?
This is the most perplexing question for many who suffer from anxiety and for professionals. Some people are much more prone to have anxious responses outside the presence of real danger, or to get caught into the types of feedback loops discussed. Some have observed that relatives of panicky people are more likely to panic themselves, leading some to believe that anxiety is a genetic inevitability. We do not know definitively why some panic more than others but there are several clues that can help us. You may well form some of your own hypotheses as you review the following.
Higher Sensitivity. Some people are just more sensitive than others. Some are more sensitive to their own physical cues and responses. Some are more sensitive to the thoughts and reactions of others. This sensitivity may be biologically influenced, but it may also be learned or practiced just like any other skill or strength.
Higher Intelligence. Research has found strong correlations between intelligence—the capacity to learn—and propensities to panic. It has been hypothesized that very bright people simply learn things accidentally without a concerted effort and therefore learn to panic in response to false alarms.
Environmental Training. Many who suffer from anxiety grew up with parents who similarly catastrophized or worried too much to be helpful. Children learn to think and to interact with the world based upon experiences with parents. Wouldn’t it make sense that one would worry if one heard and observed parents worrying frequently?
Challenging Experiences. Many individuals have had experiences that contribute to their expecting negative outcomes. Living in an abusive or dangerous environment (physically or emotionally) can certainly heighten sensitivities or expectations of negative experiences in the future.
Lack of Awareness. Some people are simply not aware that they are having panic attacks and believe instead that they have some medical or emotional condition that is not responding to treatment. This is a difficult situation because good people are often convinced that they have a disease that is beyond learning or treatment.
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So What Can We Do?
Those suffering from persistent panic and anxiety—and they really do suffer—can find relief by first understanding what is happening with them. While it is not the cure, it is a prerequisite to stopping the feedback loop. Next, they can find ways of interfering with the feedback, similar to how one quickly puts a hand over the microphone or moves it away from the amplification and feedback mechanisms.
Awareness
It is not enough to know what sometimes happens to others. We need to recognize what is happening within ourselves. Recalling the process above and seeing how we accidently start or perpetuate the process is very valuable. And the sooner we see the process occurring, the easier it will be to stop. It is very difficult to stop a full-blown panic attack but not so difficult to interrupt a little worry that is just beginning.
It is also remarkably helpful to distinguish a sensation as simply a sensation rather than interpreting it as a sure sign of danger. This takes some practice but is well worth it.
Change Your Thinking
We tend to believe that our thoughts are simply accurate representations of the world around us. But we often think thoughts that are exaggerated, inconsistent or simply mistaken. It may not be difficult for us to individually think of the last time we were sure that a certain friend did not care about us, only to find out later that something else was going on. If it is difficult to recall such an incident, we can think of how many times others have misread our actions or intentions. We are very poor mind readers, and yet we tend to persist in this and other behaviors that leave us with thoughts that do not line up with reality.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is built upon these concepts and observations and many useful tools have been devised for helping us to change our thinking to be more in line with truth and to be more effective in responding to opportunities and challenges. They can be save lives—literally.

Accept Your Experience
Ironically, efforts to stop anxiety often amplify and perpetuate it. Rather than fighting anxiety responses, one can develop the ability to see them for what they are—a set of responses to a false alarm or simply sensations. It has been the personal experience of this author that in allowing the sensations to rise and to fall without trying to extinguish them, they go away, almost always within two minutes. Once again, this takes some real practice. Mindfulness practices are aimed at helping us to accept our sensations as
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sensations, our thoughts as thoughts, and to experience life with more joy and less suffering, even in the presence of real danger.
Common Misinterpretations
Heart Attack
One of the most common misinterpretations of anxiety is that one is having a heart attack or other dangerous medical heart condition. This is commonly exacerbated by the fact that we are often warned about heart conditions and advised to not overlook signs and symptoms. It makes sense, of course, that one’s heart rate would go up while experiencing perceived heart problems, thereby easily spinning out of control.
Suffocation
Though not quite as common, there are a good number of people who become fearful when they feel as if they cannot breathe “normally,” or enough. This is often accompanied by a perceived need to gasp for air, which keeps it going. It is not easy to fight this urge if one feels as if he or she is suffocating. The good news about this and other anxious symptoms is that if one were to over-breathe (hyperventilate) or under-breathe one would simply pass out—and then breathe normally and effectively.
Going Crazy
Because the sensations grab our attention so effectively and because it is difficult for us to think clearly while the limbic system is fired up, one often feels as if she or he is somehow insane or could become insane. Once again, it makes sense that one would be anxious if it were perceived that he or she were crazy, or soon would be.
Nervous Breakdown
”Nervous breakdowns” simply do not happen. Our nerves do not break or collapse, no matter how many stories we have heard. By believing that they can break, however, one is more likely to be anxious and on-guard—and more likely to misinterpret what is happening when the anxious responses take over. It is sad that so many kind, sensitive people have somehow misunderstood and been misunderstood.
Losing Control
Some people believe that during a panic attack that they will “lose control.” They may imagine that they will do something truly outlandish that will bring criticism from others. Because anxious responses are, by definition, out of control or automatic, it is easy to imagine that they will do something that they or
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others will see as outlandish or unreasonable. However, this does not seem to happen. Ironically, those who suffer from panic attacks are so very controlled that no one around them has any idea that they are feeling that way. They may have grown so accustomed to regulating themselves that they appear calm and cool. It is also ironic that some people who appear aloof or uncaring are actually so very careful and tuned into their response to others that they end up being misunderstood. After treating individuals, couples and families for more than 25 years it has been amazing to this author to see how often kind, thoughtful, careful, intelligent, sensitive people are misunderstood by themselves and others.
References
Weber, J. G. (2011). Individual and Family Stress and Crisis. Los Angeles: Sage.
Clinic of Santa Barbara, UCLA-ADBP. (n.d.). Physiology of Anxiety. In
Anxiety and Panic Disorders

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Cold Turkey

My prescription for my medication has expired and I haven't found a doctor I like in my new location so I have been off them for about 2 weeks now. Medication has helped me a lot and I know it. Am I ready to be off them? How am I to know for sure who I am if I'm always using help of a chemical form?

What has it been like since being off?

InSane! My emotions are indescribably everywhere. It's like everything is new and I'm a child again. My emotions are so strong and hit so fast I don't know how to control them. I'm relearning everything I once knew. Patience levels are low, way lower than before. But I have a drive to work my body and when I do all the emotional control issues get smaller.

I'm vibrating in my own skin. Instead of shaking due to hunger I'm shaking like a volcano about to explode. And I do. Grab the leashes and take the dogs for a walk, snap at my family, pace back and forth, knit a few rows, clean, cook, or crack like a whip. Vibrate frozen locked in my mind while I try to decide what to do with myself. The vibration is so strong I'm impulsive. Impulsive to a point where my social fears are gone, but in a flash I dread every second since leaving the house. "should've showered, I look terrible, she just looked at me and noticed, fix my hair, that didn't work, what's on the list?"

I decide to go to a Church function. I'm extremely lucky my friend is there. She calms me and the people around me vanish or I'm able to focus on the people that make me feel loved instead of those who don't. I go home feeling good, happy, relaxed, patient, all the vibrations are gone. Does this mean I'm an extravert? Or I just need to be around the right people? My sole thought now is how can I harness this without meds? Is it this person in general that I should see more often to maintain peace? Or find a way to reach out to enough social support without becoming needy. I am needy for I need lots of social support and love.

When I was with my family in Idaho I confronted and asked for the love that I knew I needed. I was off my meds most of the time I was with them and did not feel the affects -vibrations and anxiety- till they where gone. Humans are social creatures. Am I just a more needy human than most? Can I function without the old family physical closeness? Video chat, phone calls, texts, FB messages are not enough for me. It's to awkward and distant. Love is felt in the air (silly sounding I know) but around my family its so thick. One kind look from my older brother here, a lean towards me from my sister there, laughter, and unity. You just can't get those things without being in person. I often joke about my dream of getting a vacation home in Walla Walla just to be closer to them.  It's only a half joke I'm pretty serious about it. My longing to be nearer to them is so strong.

Can I ever live without the vibration on my own without medication? What are the solutions that are at the tip of my brain?

How can I need and take without being needy?

Am I going to go back on meds? I'll say this; I have an appointment set up but it's not for 2 weeks. So I have time to observe myself while working hard to control my emotions, or to be better put, ride them to health.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

the spread of pain

When commercials say "depression hurts" it really does. It fills you to the top numbing your head and limbs. Fingers tingle at the tips longing for less and more feeling. Where are my toes?

It hurts your family because nothing they do or say cheers you up for real. An occasional forced smile followed by a hidden face doesn't keep the pain away.

Your head is full of cotton, it longs to implode.

The air is full of children's moans. Longing for love and joy to pass from the mothers bosom to theirs. Mother offers her warmth, but falls asleep trying to hide the pain. Striving to not pass it on, she fails.

In waking the mother sees her child beauty glows and sleeping.

Something snaps.

The child's beauty wakens the mothers joy. It's small. She holds tight to it, but its like reaching for a snow flake. Nearly impossible and when you do it melts cold in your hand, beauty lost.

The mother sighs at least I got a taste.

True joy is like a snow flakes (maybe not for all) sometimes it pours and you catch a lot, but sometimes not. Just because it lands on you doesn't mean you consume it. Snow isn't like water.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Juggle

My 2 1/2 year old is more demanding this semester than last. She speaks whatever she wants to loud and clear. I'm am still working on her emotional coaching.

She is angry at me. She is angry at me for not being alone with me as much as we were when William worked outside the home. She is angry at me for not having enough energy to chase her for an hour straight. Angry that I have to do homework instead of being attentive immediately when she wants to speak with me. Anger is in her energy, and I know how to fix it. But at what opportunity cost?

How can I juggle?
Married life.
Mother.
Student.

All of these thirds pull me in my heart and head. How can I make sure it all gets done? I'm shaking.

My heart is vibrating. The vibration makes its way down to my arms and finger tips.
Tightness erupts and my whole torso convulses.

I have no answers.

I have moved, and have not found a professional to help me yet. Medication only goes so far, I've been fighting to keep my head above water on my own. I'm running out of energy. My grade may not make it if I keep this up.

As much as I want to be Super Woman/MOM Student WIFE I cannot, for I am human.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Hair and Make-up

This post is short.

Most people think that when women feel bad about themselves they ware make-up and do their hair to compensate.

This post is to inform you that this concept is false! 

For me during my depression and (still yet as I'm still recovering)

When I'm happier I do my hair.
When I'm happier I do my make-up.

Depression sucks all the feelings of hope out of you. "Why do your hair and make-up? I mean really it's not going to help or change anything." Is 100% what I thought during depression.

So men, boys, and guys out there! Know this! If you see a girl not wearing make-up or doing their hair I'd be concerned not more than not.

Exclaimer! Some women just don't like make-up so this post doesn't apply to everyone.
The main thing to look for is a change in hair and make-up habits. (not styles)

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

It's Okay to Be Me

Its okay to be where we're at.

This statement is said over and over by my therapist.

Its okay to be where your at.

This one statement over in over in my head. I repeat it to myself time and time again just to relax.

Its okay to be where I'm at.

My weight story post was full of vigor and determination. The fact of the matter is my weight is a shield, a comfort blanket. I think I've said this before. But its so true. It is so hard to take off that comfort blanket.

For some their comfort blankets are exercise or food control or whatever. And for some (these days the stats say most in the US) fat is a comfort blanket. It is protective, and destructive at the same time.

So how do we convince ourselves that its okay to take it off?

How do we convince ourselves that we're not perfect in some things (most things) and that's okay?

Repeat it over and over and over.
Never forget.

Its okay to be where I'm at.

We're in this together, we are. All of us. When we judge others and ourselves to harshly we do not find happiness nor progression. We are literally damned. We stop ourselves from moving forward. When we can't look at ourselves in the eye and say "I'm not perfect. That's okay." "I haven't started working out yet. That's okay" Or when we can't listen to criticism without still loving ourselves then we are still not okay with who we are.

And believe it! How hard is this? right? At least for me it is. When we beat ourselves up for not doing things right, or we cannot accept things we need to address and change, we only make it worse.

For me, when I get a bad look or vibe from someone at first I'm wounded. I feel pain in my body. I feel pain and sadness, sadness not only for me but for them also. Such pain (unawares of it usually)someone should be in to look at others that way. But remember; it's okay for them to be where their at too.
-I'd like to add also that when someone is hurting, nothing to do with me, I feel it. And my heart breaks. This is why I want/am going to be a therapist.-

We are all in different places, at different stages, in our internal psychological health.

I'm sorry I don't usually like to be religious on this blog but "Love one another, as I have loved you." I mean! is there any better way to love one another than to see ourselves and each other as okay where we're at?

I recently saw a karma post on Facebook. It said "send out good energy." When we do this we make the world a better place. How can we do this if we're not able to accept ourselves first?

I cannot love others to the fullest when I am not accepting myself. Myself, as in the whole package. I don't clean the house as much as my husband. I should spend more time with my daughter. I should take my dog for better walks.  I'm not skinny, fit, or even healthy. I should manage my time better, spend less money, the list goes on an on. We all have them. And they hurt so we push them away. Sometimes avoid or use other unhealthy tactics. The way to healthily defeat them is to face them, and face the head on.

Try it. Try looking in the mirror and saying "Its okay that I don't walk my dog enough. yet. I'm not in a place yet where I can do it. That's okay. I see this, I can accept it. When I'm ready I'll change it."
Ah! Then the pressure is off! We can relax and love ourselves. Which usually leads to being more an more able to change your it.

If your lucky and your one of those people that doesn't have much to feel guilty or frustrated about, or you've known all this for years my hat goes off to you! :D good job!

On the other hand for those of you who don't understand depression maybe this post will help. People (at least with me) with depression do not think that anything is okay. All those things I listed become massive boulders on our shoulders. Weighing our heats and minds down 24'7. We cannot escape. We do not believe its OKAY to be crappy at stuff right now. The world and most the people around us don't tell us its okay, or if they do we don't hear. We don't believe. How could it be true for it to be alright to be so big? So messy and lazy? How? The comforting words people say to us roll off "like water off a ducks back." They roll off and barely leave a trace.

 Something has to snap back into place for someone with depression to believe its okay to be where we're at. When that does happens, healing starts.

I pray that one day we can all know and love ourselves for who we are and where we're at.
God Bless!

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Being Sensitive is Okay

Media affects us.

We don't like to admit it. For some reason it feels weak if we are affected by negative energy in media.

Why can't we just watch a show or movie without it bleeding into the energy of our heart, soul, mind, and homes?

And Why do we convince ourselves that this dark movie, show, or music won't hurt us?

We watch things, listen to music, and expose ourselves to pop media because we want to be "normal" or included.

But then we wonder why we're so full of anxiety we don't know why we can't focus on our homework, or our patients levels with our kids is shorter than normal.

Well for me its because of that media. I was watching a show that wasn't good. It was pop culture. Even shows like Ghost Whisperer I can't watch. Not because it's scary but because it changes the energy in my home and soul. It changes me and causes little stresses to become bigger and sometimes unbearable.

So yes even though it's so frustrating I have to avoid media that brings we down.

My counselor said that even if someone on Facebook is causing undue stress there is no need to deal with it. Take them off your news feed. If a movie is bringing you down, turn it off. If a song is causing anger to build instead of promoting forgiveness in your heart for others that have hurt you turn it off or change it until you find something that does promote good feelings.

Our feelings are valid. All of ours!

If there is one thing I've learned between my Parenting class and getting counseling is that not only are my feelings valid so are everyone else's. (After a while I realized he always validated my feelings)

This is one thing that some parents have a hard time teachings their children. And I know how hard it is to tell my daughter "It's okay that your mad, sad, frustrated, and so on. yatta yatta" we talk about why instead of saying "its okay. You don't need to cry or yell."

And just like its okay for children to have emotions its also okay for adults to have emotions too.  Adults however have learned to keep them under a certain amount of control especially in public.

In public can mean all sorts of situations and it depends on the person. For some public is the moment the step outside their home, or around people. For others at "home" can be public too if the relationships are not healthy.

Anyway its okay to be sensitive to outside energies whither they be positive or negative. This is why the wise tell us to avoid things that promote sin. For me these things bring anxiety and sorrow.

People, TV, Family, food, purpose, and media all affect us.

It is up to us to keep negative influences at a length. And keep the positive influences near us so as we can become/stay healthy and happy.