Being Sensitive is Okay

Media affects us.

We don't like to admit it. For some reason it feels weak if we are affected by negative energy in media.

Why can't we just watch a show or movie without it bleeding into the energy of our heart, soul, mind, and homes?

And Why do we convince ourselves that this dark movie, show, or music won't hurt us?

We watch things, listen to music, and expose ourselves to pop media because we want to be "normal" or included.

But then we wonder why we're so full of anxiety we don't know why we can't focus on our homework, or our patients levels with our kids is shorter than normal.

Well for me its because of that media. I was watching a show that wasn't good. It was pop culture. Even shows like Ghost Whisperer I can't watch. Not because it's scary but because it changes the energy in my home and soul. It changes me and causes little stresses to become bigger and sometimes unbearable.

So yes even though it's so frustrating I have to avoid media that brings we down.

My counselor said that even if someone on Facebook is causing undue stress there is no need to deal with it. Take them off your news feed. If a movie is bringing you down, turn it off. If a song is causing anger to build instead of promoting forgiveness in your heart for others that have hurt you turn it off or change it until you find something that does promote good feelings.

Our feelings are valid. All of ours!

If there is one thing I've learned between my Parenting class and getting counseling is that not only are my feelings valid so are everyone else's. (After a while I realized he always validated my feelings)

This is one thing that some parents have a hard time teachings their children. And I know how hard it is to tell my daughter "It's okay that your mad, sad, frustrated, and so on. yatta yatta" we talk about why instead of saying "its okay. You don't need to cry or yell."

And just like its okay for children to have emotions its also okay for adults to have emotions too.  Adults however have learned to keep them under a certain amount of control especially in public.

In public can mean all sorts of situations and it depends on the person. For some public is the moment the step outside their home, or around people. For others at "home" can be public too if the relationships are not healthy.

Anyway its okay to be sensitive to outside energies whither they be positive or negative. This is why the wise tell us to avoid things that promote sin. For me these things bring anxiety and sorrow.

People, TV, Family, food, purpose, and media all affect us.

It is up to us to keep negative influences at a length. And keep the positive influences near us so as we can become/stay healthy and happy.

Numb; but Alive

Warning: There is a difference between serious thoughts and minor temptations. Like when you wish you could ride a rainbow but you know you can't so you don't make plans. Its the making plans point that one should get worried.
So do not worry. Just enjoy the depth in which I'm about to take you. Unless you don't agree that this post is deep, to you I shrug, and only ask to have an open mind. Thanks.

We all have bad days.

What are your bad days like?

Think it over before reading on.

Really what are your "bad days" like?

Do you lay in bed wishing it could swallow you up, completely surround you in pillows and a window into a new world where there are only wild animals to cuddle and play with?
No sin, no sorrow, no pain.

Do you have days where you feel the need to knit a million projects at once because its the only thing keeping you from feeling to much?

Do you long for darkness, no more conscientiousness?

And get semi angry cause you believe that your conscientiousness will in-fact live on and maybe you'll feel even more pain after. So you sigh and remember your daughter. You remember yet again that you truly are the most qualified to be her primary caregiver. She needs you. So you push the thought away.

It was never really a true real thought because you know you'd never could.
The thought and sadness haunts you as you smile at your lovely, smart, tall daughter.

She looks at you with new eyes. Eyes that see so much more than you want her to.
then;

Do you all the sudden notice your snapping yourself with a tiny baby hair tie and its all your physically feeling? And it feels great.

Numb    .      .      .      yet  Alive

Swimming through cloudy thoughts. Running from reality.
What is reality anyway? Is it what we make it?

 Or is it just real, unchanging, unrelenting, solid reality.

pause

think

wonder

what are we really? what is

What is it to be Alive?
Is it food?
                family?
                           purpose?
                    joy?
         peace?
                   blood?
                             spirit?
                                      chemicals?
                                                       synapses?
                                   connections?
                  education?
Love?

How can we be alive if we have nothing? Do we have everything, and yet not at the same time?
Can we have, but not have at the same time?

So many questions without real -real- answers. Who has the answers? God?

These are my bad days. Internal, emotional, physical war.

How do you survive?